MY TITTLE

Earlier i named my blogspot as the chessmate.... hmmmph. well i wondered what was the reason, just like everyone else... but honestly it was the very first thing to pop up when i created my spot in the blogging universe.... god knows why.... but i guess now that i have thought about it, i guess it was because i wanted the tittle to reflect my intellectual ability... hahahax... yeah... chess mate, sounds intellectual aite? but wait, there's more to it..... chess mate- "i want to share my thoughts with all of you out there, and i want you'll to be my mates, well you know... to read it!

but now i have changed it to fly high...... fly high best reflects myself as a whole organism who have the spirit to fly high, to catch my dreams and to sail through the ocean of life which is filled with unbearable challenges and quests...... it shows that i will always have the spirit to fly high and to hold tight to my dreams under my wings for it will be the fuel for me to shoot up even higher...... mind over matter!!! yeshhhh...... i am what i think, i am me...... no one can change me for anything........ and yeah this sudden change in my mind is definitely due to the tough times that i have been facing with in my life...... yes the brainwrappers that i myself have sticked my brains with...... seriously... i really did not want to share this with anyone but since today is the last day of the raya holidays and also because tommorow when i step into my skewl i want to be a whole new person, so i have to share this problem i have been facing in my life.... i feel that if i share it with others then, perhaps i can reduce the burden that, currently i have suffering with..... ok.... i have been a whole different person lately as in before the holidays, and it has been really tough.. seriously, i did not notice this till my besties started asking me about it.... i have been isolating myself and not talking to them, almost ignoring all my buddies.... i guess i was drowning in my sacred tears of unjoyful problems..... till this minute i am still lost and havent a clue what as the reason of such behaviour... really.... well i guess itz the inferiority complex..... yesss that piece of bloody scavenger!!!!! inferiority complex is seriously bad wey..... it makes you feel so small!!!! so alone!! and soo lost.....!!!!! and the worst part is that you don't even realize it slimmin you.... yes i was this (..) close to have been completely slimmed, drowned into the vessels of the pathetic beast.... yesss..... i seriously hope that i can snap out of it! really... sometimes i feel very unhappy with myself and eventually i witnessed myself ebing chewed up by the beast!

yessss mind over matter.... and sometimes i watered that beast with my tears, i believe i have!!! how cud have i been so blind to have not noticed that??? i needed someone to snap me out of the sea of tears.... but now all i can do is that step out of it or at least pretend to and buckle up as itz going to be a bumpy ride..... oh my gawddd..... this holidays has seriously opened up my eyes.... i missed my friends so much that now i realize that how muchthey have been missing me.... yessss.... i am not sure whether or not i am fully recovered out of it, but at least that's what i hope.... and yes i am glad that i had the courage to pen this down or in this case blog it out..... i am now relieved , all thnx to this raya festival.... i love the concept of this festival... itz all about forgiving and forgetting... i guess i have used this opportunity to ask for forgiveness to all of em that i truly love.... including my teachers.... ( n yeah they forgave me) whoooooo.... u can't tell how thankful i am at the moment..... it feels like i'm an addict who has gone to rehabilitation centre.... hahaha.... which is good in a way.... and all because of love.... havent i told you before that love makes everything possible???

and when i say everything, i MEAN everything! lol...

hahahahaax.... ooppsss!!!

so yeah, i know that i sound like a freak or something, but imagine what the world would be without love????

oooohhhh-em-giiiiiiii...... nope!!! better not i guess...... so basically this issue was compressed and blasted off when i watched gandhi ji on friday.... damn i started to realize the power of love and the dynamics of patience...... wow...... it has gotten me..... i cried when i watched the movie.... haizz.... and yeah then i started to wonder about my life, and what i was becoming, a monster!!!

(a tiny one.. hahax..)

lol..... i agree love conquers all..... we're doomed without it...... and i am glad that i am overloaded with it... a friend told me that i am rich with love and i have every goddamn rights to have an excellent future and that i am smart and beautiful the way i am already....... so yeahhh am thankful to god ( again..!!!) for blessing me with a good life, loving parents, and amazing peeps... yeshhhhh....

i love me... i love myself.... and hell i'm not gonna let others tease me for the way i am....

i might be fat, have no nose, short and clumsy at times, but who cares???

i love everything about me and wouldnt wanna change me 1 bit..... and nope this is not nacicism ok, itz self-love and self-respect.. because lately, i have been lacking them..... and yess i want them back.... i want my self-confidence to go up,up,up,up,up and uppp!!!! i wanna fly high.... i wanna be one of those peopple to make the sky so beautiful to gaze upon!!!! hahahax.....

and if you're reading this, i wanna tell you something,

nobody is perfect, and you don't have to be perfect to be happy... so don't try to hard to be perfect because you'll end up losing your life!!

and owh yeah..... i wanna appologize to every single people out there if i have been bad and hope that you'll forgive me... after all life is all about forgiving and forgetting right?

hahaha...

and yah to this special person "R"

i know that i have been a big trouble, and have hurt ur feelings.... but hey sorry for the silly things aite? i don't even know whether or not you'll be reading this but i just had to say... haizz.... what a huge relief??

okkkaaayyyy... who's up for sum monkey business now????

mwaahhhxxx... luv you guys...

- null mi$$tre$$-